Teenagers With Overprotective Parents

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5 Ways Helicopter Parents Can Affect You

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An examination by parenting professionals of the concept of overparenting. Aust J Guid Couns. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. You Get Into Power Struggles. You Micromanage Your Child. You Worry Excessively. You Overindulge Your Child. Why Overindulging Can Be Harmful. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles.

Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Related Articles. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. This article has been viewed , times. Many people feel their parents are overprotective. If your parents check in on you constantly and bombard you with questions about your personal life, you should take some steps to communicate your needs to them productively. Try communicating your frustrations, setting firm boundaries, and taking steps to reduce your parents' anxiety. Dealing with overprotective parents can be frustrating, but by establishing healthy boundaries and communicating with them, you can build trust and understanding.

Try setting boundaries that are appropriate for your age. Set up a weekly phone call to help ease their anxieties and give you space. For tips about how to reduce the anxiety of overprotective parents, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. No account yet?

Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article methods. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1. Pick a safe time and space. The first step to addressing overprotective parents is to have a frank conversation about your concerns. To assure the talk goes as smooth as possible, pick a safe time and space to talk and make sure nothing will bother you.

Choose a location where both you and your parents feel comfortable. If you live at home, the living room or kitchen table might work. If you've already moved out, choose a neutral location like a quiet coffee shop so no one has the home team advantage. Eliminate distractions. Turn off the TV. Put away your phone. Do not choose a location that is noisy, like a bar or restaurant. In order to have an effective conversation, distractions should be minimal. Pick a time where there aren't externally enforced restraints. Do not choose right before work or bedtime, for example. Select a timeframe where there's plenty of time to talk so all parties involved feel like they're saying their piece. In the early evening, just after dinner, might be a good time. Use "I" statements.

It's important to avoid blame when having a difficult discussion. Try to use "I" statements. That is, begin your sentences with the words "I feel" first. This way, you're focusing on your own feelings and emotions rather than passing an objective judgment about the situation. When communicating your feelings about the situation, make it apparent you're discussing your own perspective and not enforcing an objective assessment of the situation. For example, do not say, "It's really overbearing when you guys check up on me every five minutes when I'm out with my friends.

Instead, say something like, "I feel stressed out when you guys call and text a lot when I'm out. I feel like you don't trust me when you do things like that. Communicate your needs and wants. Remember, you cannot expect your parents to read your mind. When having a difficult conversation, it's important to be as transparent as possible about your wants and needs. Ideally, what would you like to come out of this conversation? Do you want your parents to, say, minimize how much they call when you go out? Ask fewer questions about your academic performance or career plans? How can your parents effectively back down? Think about what you want before beginning the conversation.

Have some concrete goals and needs to express to your parents. Express your goals in a way that is firm but non-judgmental and respectful. For example, say something like, "I would really like it if you could give me some space when I'm out with my friends. I don't mind following a curfew, but I would appreciate not having to answer texts and phone calls every half hour. The good news about over-protective parents is that they simply want to love and protect you, and they can learn to express their caring in a more productive way. Let your parents know you appreciate that they love you and want the best for you.

Do not minimize your parents' perspectives. While it can be very frustrating to deal with overprotective parents, you cannot minimize your parents' point of view. If you're trying to have an honest, effective conversation, consider their perspective. Feelings, especially feelings provoked by anxiety, are subjective. While you may think it's unnecessary that your parents worry about a small cold turning into pneumonia, allow them to express this feeling without judgment. Acknowledge that you understand they worry about you as their child. The key to understanding your parents is to identify why they feel the way they do. Try to understand the issues driving their overprotective nature. If they worry about your health, for example, did one or both of your parents lose a family member or friend to unexpected illness?

Your parents likely have a very good reason for their fear, possibly based on their own experiences. While it's important not to let your parents fear dictate your life, understanding the root of a fear can help you better address it in the future. For example, in Finding Nemo , the dad Marlin lost his entire family, his dear wife and all his children — all except one little egg. As a result, Marlin is extremely overprotective of his only son, Nemo.

Marlin's traumatic past gives him an overwhelming fear of something bad happening to Nemo, so to be overprotective makes complete sense to him, even though it is ultimately not good for his son's development. Method 2. Make it clear when you do and do not need help. In order to become an independent adult, you need the space to make your own decisions and, sometimes, your own mistakes. Try to set clear boundaries with your parents regarding when you do and do not need their assistance. Most people, usually early on in middle school, crave some autonomy from their parents.

Overprotective parents may have difficulties allowing you to have more freedom, because worrying about you is one of their primary ways of expressing that they care about you. Overprotection is often inadvertently a form of control. You need to make it clear to your parents that you want clearer, firmer boundaries. For example, you can tell them it's okay to be concerned about your physical wellbeing but that reminding you every day about the latest health scares is not helpful to your emotional well-being. You can tell them it's fine to want you to schedule a weekly phone call, but talking on the phone every day is a bit much. Limit contact when possible. If you live away from home, sometimes limiting contact can be helpful. While it's great to have a relationship with your parents, if they tend to be overprotective you may need to shut them out a bit to reduce their anxiety.

If you've moved out of your house, you do not have to tell your parents everything. It might be best not to mention the person you've just started dating or the party you're going to on Saturday night. If such conversations tend to result in unsolicited advice and an onslaught of questions, just tactfully omit certain details of your day-to-day life. If your parents start pressing you for more details about your weekend, for example, give them a brief summary and then say something like, "But I can't talk too long.

I've got to do laundry today. Do not get sucked into negativity. Oftentimes, overprotective parents react negatively to their children establishing boundaries. Your parents may resist your desire for autonomy.