Living Room Grapes: A Short Story

Wednesday, March 9, 2022 5:03:14 PM

Living Room Grapes: A Short Story



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I walked to the right to find what I thought was a check-in desk. The only thing on the desk was a small bell. I had rung the bell so many times that my fingers were starting to hurt. Finally after two more minutes of nervous ringing, a woman approached me. Her dark brown hair was swept neatly into a bun and her uniform-a bright blue dress-was freshly ironed. She seemed oddly out of place. I handed her the money and in return, she gave me a giant rusty key that looked as old as the hotel. I nodded and followed her directions. Finally, I arrived at my room only to find that there was no keyhole to the door.

I pushed on the door, my weight causing it to creak open. The room before me was small, dark, and cluttered with stained furniture. As I put my bag down, I noticed a keyhole in one of the chests. I jiggled the key around in it and to my surprise it unlocked. A once-hidden door appeared behind it. The door seemed to be just big enough for me to crawl into it. Gripping my phone flashlight in my mouth, I crouched into the dark hole. I stepped onto the hard tiles beneath me. A frigid gust of wind frightened me as my eyes were trying to adjust to the darkness. I held my phone in front of me and shined the flashlight.

The room was bigger than I thought and had very high ceilings. On every wall was a bookcase stuffed with dusty books. I tried to pull one out but the bookcase started to wobble and fell to the floor with a deafening crash. Later, over coffee, we got on to the subject of elderly parents. Then she got dementia and became a different person. Being with Janet reminded me of how lucky I am. At 92, my father is in great shape. Four days later I saw a dermatologist in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. The spot, he said, was nothing to worry about. He hit it with some liquid nitrogen, and by the time I left his office, it looked like I had a pencil eraser stuck to my face. The following day on the plane, the eraser burst and pre-cancer juice ran like a fat tear down my cheek.

That was the first of several procedures I wound up having over the course of my tour. Funny, but for years I avoided going to any kind of doctor. If it was an emergency, I could be talked in to it, but anything else, especially anything preventative, was out of the question. Then my father forced me to get a colonoscopy, and a whole new world opened up. Six years earlier, I had noticed a lump on my right side, just at the base of my rib cage. It was, I later learned, a lipoma, meaning a harmless fatty tumour. It continued to grow for the next several months until it was the size and feel of an unshelled, hard-boiled egg. I could have lived with it for the rest of my life, but after spending some time along the canals not far from our beach house, I got a better idea.

He took an ultrasound of my fatty tumour and said that he could remove it the following week. He has a big growth on his head. I left with my tumour intact, thinking, Honestly. What has this country come to? The woman looked to be around 50, Mexican, I reckoned, and as short as a child. Its own blood supply! I thought of those people you read about sometimes with terrible potato-sized twins inside them, complete with hair and teeth. Recounting this story over the next few weeks, I was surprised by the general reaction it got. She told me she was. With her were the son and daughter of her girlfriend, both of whom were in their early 30s and looked more like soap opera actors than real people.

While their attractiveness was preternatural — almost outlandish — the way they related to one another as brother and sister felt familiar to me, especially their little insults, blanks, for the most part more funny than mean. The four of us drove on deserted roads across the state line, to a dark clinic located in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. The late hour, the secrecy: it felt furtive and dangerous, like having an abortion in It was like having my pocket picked by a trainee.

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